11 Misconceptions About Therapy Keeping you from Epicness 

From therapy being easy or only for the weak...here's what it really is

There SO MANY misconceptions about therapy. Let’s break down some of the basics that I see people struggling with. 

Therapy has been around for a long time, but there is still a stigma surrounding going to therapy. Like it’s some kind of mythical monster people go and see to get their problems solved. Despite its effectiveness (and it fucking works), many misunderstanding about it persist, keeping people from seeking the help they need. 

Myth 1: Psychotherapy is Only for the Weak or Crazy

One of the most unfortunate myths about psychotherapy is that it's only for those who are mentally unstable or weak. This is some bullshit and creates barriers to people getting help in so many ways. People from all walks of life, regardless of their mental health status, seek therapy to improve their overall well-being. 

You don’t have to have something severely wrong with you to be in therapy. It can help with a wide range of things, including:

• Emotional distress: Anxiety, depression, grief, and loss

• Relationship problems: Family conflicts, marital issues, and social difficulties

• Trauma: Past or present traumatic experiences

• Substance abuse: Addiction and substance misuse

• Stress management: Coping with work, school, and life stressors

Myth 2: Psychotherapy is only for BIG life issues

No, nope, nopity, NO. It could be as simple as someone was mean to you and it is still bugging you. It could be that you don’t know how to manage stress. You got in a car accident and are afraid to drive now. Maybe you don’t know how to talk to people you want to date. Therapy is not just for people who had horrific things happen to them. 

I often hear clients say “other people have it worse”, but I remind them that those other people may think your current situation is “the worst”. We all experience life in our own way that fucks us up. There are no limits to who can and cannot go to therapy. It’s if you want to change/grow that matters. 

Myth 3: Therapists Will Judge You

It is your life! Therapists shouldn’t care what you do, as long as you are not harming yourself or others. I come to session to listen, understand, and offer support, not to criticize or condemn. We have all been on the hot mess express, so our judgment would be hypocritical and, frankly, a dick move if we judged you. 

Myth 4: Therapy is Only for Talking

There is a lot of talking that happens in therapy for sure. BUT a good therapist will help clients who struggle with only talking in session. There are so many wonderful techniques out there to help within session like mindfulness/grounding/somatic exercises, role-playing, art therapy, play therapy (even for adults), journaling, music, yoga, walking…etc. If this is a worry, ask a potential therapist about different ways to make talking easier! Know that therapist aren’t mind readers so you will have to talk, it just may be different ways than you think. 

Myth 5: Therapy is a One-Size-Fits-All Approach

There are therapists that ONLY use one modality/theory. However, part of being effective in therapy is collaborating with a client to find their individual needs and preferences! The approach to therapy will change over time as well. I have some clients who need more education in the beginning or more time to talk and as therapy progresses I slowly integrate educating less and having the client come up with ideas on their own. Button line…therapy should be flexible and adapted to what you need. 

Myth 6: Psychotherapy is Ineffective and a Waste of Time

Oooof. Does this happen for some people who need intensive care, yes. If you find a quality therapist they will help get you through what you need to get through AND recommend resources if you need additional support outside of therapy. There’s enough research to show therapy is effective. It’s the therapist and your willingness to be in therapy that make it work.

The ineffective part is usually a client not being able to tolerate being uncomfortable, which there are MANY tools to help with. Therapists can spot what is unconsciously making clients uncomfortable; it’s a lot harder for clients to see it, so they think therapy doesn’t work. 

Unfortunately, most people are willing to put up with a lot of discomfort because it’s normal for them. You will risk staying in your current problems until it is more painful than getting help.

Myth 7: Strong People Don't Need Therapy

The belief that strong people don't need therapy is so silly. There is NO owner’s manual to life. No one knows what the fuck they’re doing. Those who are strong in one area of life need help in other areas of life. Point being…everyone needs help at one point or another. I have yet to see any exception to this. 

Seeking help is a sign of badassery, not weakness. You’re life may be crumbling, but how in the world have you still managed to keep going and ask for help? (Strength) 

Myth 8: Psychotherapy is a Quick Fix

No, girl, it isn’t. I don’t work with easy buttons. I am always happy to provide band-aid therapy to clients, but you’re just plugging up leaks that will come back later. 

While therapy can provide immediate relief and coping mechanisms, significant change often takes time. Heck, our brain needs 6-8 weeks to form new habits. Therapy is a process that involves consistent effort and commitment from both the therapist and the client. It’s fucking worth it, though. 

Myth 9: There is Only One Approach That Works

There are some areas in psychology that say ONLY one approach to therapy works for this type of problem. Ex: CBT for depression, DBT for borderline personality, exposure therapy for trauma, etc. There is no research that proves one approach to therapy is better than others. Don't let a therapist tell you otherwise.

Myth 10: I Won’t Have to be Uncomfortable in Therapy

These are the lies we tell ourselves to feel control. Therapy follows the idea of “it gets worse before it gets better”. When you start poking into the things that are difficult in life and start learning ways to change/navigate them, you are going to be uncomfortable because it’s change. 

In our lives we create strong patterns that are grooved into us (I bet you can recite your daily morning routine). Changing these patterns/routines is confusing, it hurts, it makes us not feel great about ourselves, and we want to avoid that discomfort as much as possible. That’s therapy: you will fall, it will hurt, and you keep trying until you figure it out in ways that don’t cause pain. 

Myth 11: Psychotherapy is a Long and Expensive Process

While the duration of therapy can vary depending on individual needs, it's not always a lengthy process. Many people benefit from short-term therapy, which can address specific concerns in a relatively brief period. 

Yes, therapy is expensive if you don’t have insurance coverage. You can go now or wait until the shit really hits the fan and takes even longer. Invest in yourself for the long-haul. Suffering through something you don’t need to is also expensive on your mental and physical well-being. 

How do I overcome these myths?

During your consultation call, ask the therapist questions. If you're already in therapy, talk to your therapist about them! Therapy should be a place to bring up whatever you want. You can say pretty much anything (almost), because sessions are confidential! It's the place to spill that thought, because your therapist can't tell a soul (unless mandated to do so).

About the author: Jessica Miller is a licensed therapist in the state of California. Her background is in domestic violence, self-esteem, anxiety, trauma, and somatic experiencing. She believes that life is messy and sometimes we need someone to understand that we don't know wtf we're doing.

Reach out for a free consultation and find out if therapy is right for you!