Anxiety During the Holidays: 10 Tips To Avoid white-knuckling it
- Jessica Miller
- Nov 14, 2024
- 7 min read
Updated: Dec 19, 2024
Holiday Anxiety
The holidays are supposed to be all twinkly and fun, but for a lot of people, they bring on wave of stress and anxiety. Whether it’s the pressure to get the perfect gift, the anxiety of social gatherings, or the emotional toll of family dynamics, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. It’s natural to feel this way especially if you’re already anticipating them being difficult.
Anxiety is no joke, but there are ways to pay attention to what it’s telling to help lessen the impact of anxiety on the next few months. Bonus tips at the bottom!
What’s the different between stress and Anxiety
Stress:
Stress is the overwhelm we feel due to outside pressures. The things we have to do, the people we have to see, the business of the world around us.
Anxiety:
It's our internal world telling us that it is uncomfortable. It is the result of stress piling up and us not doing anything to help ourselves relax. So, our body sets off alarms that make us pay attention. Unfortunately, most people translate that alarm as discomfort and try to run from it. Because you run away from the alarm…it gets louder!
What is Holiday Anxiety?
Holiday anxiety is specific to the holiday season and the stress and discomfort that pops up when we don’t want it to. It's not just about the usual worries of busy schedules or buying gifts, but it also includes the unique pressures and emotional triggers that tend to arise during this time of year.
If you’ve ever felt completely overwhelmed by the holiday rush—whether it’s the constant to-do list, social obligations, or strained family relationships—you’ve probably experienced holiday anxiety. For some people, it even triggers physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or digestive problems. This happens to the best of us and there are ways to help lessen the intensity felt through the holidays.
Why Do the Holidays Give Me Anxiety?
There are a few reasons the holidays tend to trigger anxiety for many people. Here are some of the common stressors:
High Expectations:
The media and social pressures often paint the holidays as a perfect, joyous time. When reality doesn’t meet those expectations, it can lead to stress and disappointment.
Alternatively, we want to make the holidays amazing for everyone, so we bend over backwards trying to “do it all”. The pressure to give the perfect experience can be daunting year after year.
Or you feel the pressure to put on a happy, jolly face when, in reality, you don’t want to, don’t feel the holiday spirit, or are going through some shit.
Financial Pressure:
Gift-giving, travel expenses, and the cost of hosting gatherings can cause financial strain. Added anxiety is trying to “keep up with the Joneses” and not let people know you can’t afford certain things.
Family Dynamics:
Family gatherings can bring up old conflicts or uncomfortable situations, triggering conversations adding dread and emotional stress.
Overcommitment:
With so many events to attend and things to do, it’s easy to overbook yourself, leading to burning out and numbing out! I
Grief and Loneliness:
For many, the holidays increase feelings of loss or isolation, especially if they’re missing loved ones or struggling with personal challenges. Many feel isolated and that those around them don’t quite understand what they holidays are like for them.
Disrupted Routines:
We all usually have some sort of routine that we become accustomed to. The holidays mean possible time off, more working hours, increased social obligations and later nights. This all can lead to feelings of anxiety, because you (and your body) doesn’t know what to expect from the day. Changes in sleep patterns, diet, and exercise can also contribute to increased stress.
How to Stop Holiday Anxiety
Anxiety feels like the holiday guest that will never leave. Stopping it entirely may not be possible, but acknowledging your stress is a good place to start. The good news is that you don’t have to just "push through" the anxiety. Here are a few ways to manage it:
Don’t Overload Your Schedule
It’s easy to feel like you need to attend every party, buy every gift, and cook the perfect meal. But overloading yourself only adds to the anxiety. Take a deep breath and be realistic about what you can handle.
Set Realistic Expectations
Don't strive for perfection. Find what will truly make your holiday experience more enjoyable. Cut out the things that won’t make it enjoyable.
Set Boundaries
If you're feeling drained by certain activities or people, it's okay to say no. Boundaries are key to protecting your mental health during the holidays.
Communicate Your Needs
Let your loved ones, friends, co-workers know how you're feeling and what you need from them.
Seek Therapy
Sometimes we need a little help to manage everything that happens for us during the holidays. A therapist is a great person to let it rip about all the things stressing you out, frustrating you about your family and friends, and any unhappy feels to come along with it.
How to Calm Holiday Anxiety
Calming anxiety is a more realistic approach. There are ways you can calm yourself down when anxiety starts to build up.
Notice the times you feel anxious
Our bodies tell us all day what they are feeling. We ignore it all day. Just notice when you feel a little squirrelly, or panic for a moment. Sit with the anxious feeling.
If you can catch anxiety when it start the peek its head, the easier it is to manage. It takes 90 second for all the chemicals shot off during stress/anxiety to clear out. Sit for a minute and just be ok that you’re feeling off.
Practice Relaxation Techniques
Exhale breathing exercise (no deep inhales they can increase anxiety), sit quietly or listen to calm music, get up and walk (even inside) and stretch. A lot of time movement, like walking or dancing, can help reset your mood and calm your nervous system.
Practice Mindfulness
Taking a few minutes to pause and focus on the things around you. It’s called the 5-4-3-2-1 method. It helps your brain get distracted from the intense feelings it’s having and bring you back to baseline.
Stay Active
Exercise is a great way to manage stress and anxiety. Whether it’s yoga, walking, or just a quick workout, getting your body moving helps release pent-up tension. Try just squeezing your muscles for 5 minutes as if you were exercising - it releases “hope molecules” that act to help your mood.
Take Breaks
If you are starting to feel off, go somewhere else that isn’t stimulating. If family dynamics or social events are making you anxious, step away for a few minutes to regroup. You don’t have to explain to people why you are stepping away for a bit.
5 Extra Tips to Cope with Holiday Anxiety
BONUS tips to really help with your anxiety during the holidays.
Write It Out
Write out everything that you think you will have to do. Schedule it out on a calendar. see how you can realistically get everything done. You may find once you put
everything on paper, there's no way one person can manage all that!
Plan Ahead
The holidays can feel chaotic, but planning can ease a lot of that stress. Get a head start on tasks like shopping, travel, and meal prep. The earlier you plan, the less pressure you’ll feel as things pile up.
For example, you might want to order gifts online a little earlier than usual or book travel accommodations in advance. That way, you can avoid last-minute scrambling.
Organize Your To-Do List and Pair It Down
Make a list of everything you need to do and prioritize it. Focus on what’s most
important and let go of things that don’t matter as much. Maybe you can skip one of
the holiday parties or order pre-made cookies this year. It’s about finding balance and reducing unnecessary stress.
Ask for Help
The holidays don’t have to be a solo mission. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask for
help. Whether it’s delegating tasks or asking a friend to join you at a family gathering
for support, don’t be afraid to lean on others.
It’s also important to talk to your loved ones about your feelings. Sometimes, simply
saying, "I’m feeling anxious about all of this," can be a relief.
Find Things You Like to Do
Amid all the holiday hustle, it’s important to make time for activities you enjoy.
Whether it’s reading, crafting, baking, or just watching your favorite holiday movie, do
things that bring you peace and joy.
FAQs About Holiday Anxiety
Q: Why do I feel so anxious during the holidays?
The holiday season is often filled with stressors like family dynamics, financial pressure, social expectations, and the hustle to get everything done. It's common to feel anxious because of these added demands and emotional triggers.
Q: How can I stop stressing out about holiday shopping?
Q: How do I cope with grief during the holidays?
Q: How can I deal with family stress over the holidays?
Q: What is JMT?
Wrapping Up
The holidays don’t have to be a source of anxiety. By planning ahead, setting realistic expectations, and taking care of your mental health, you can enjoy the season without feeling overwhelmed. Remember, it’s okay to say no, take breaks, and prioritize what really matters to you. Take care of yourself, and the holidays will be a lot more enjoyable.
Wishing you a calm and joyful holiday season!
About the author: Jessica Miller is a licensed therapist in the state of California. Her background is in domestic violence, self-esteem, anxiety, trauma, and somatic experiencing. She believes that life is messy and sometimes we need someone to understand that we don't know wtf we're doing.
Thinking about therapy. Schedule a consult with me!
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